At 35. Jobless, No Career, No Degree, Single, No Kids And Living With Parents. Is There Hope?

The answer is yes, there is hope, lots of hope, life doesn't end when you are in your 30s, 40s, 50s or 60s; it only ends when you believe it has ended.


When a person meets his or her peers at this stage, it is possible to feel left behind on all fronts. The most piercing here in Africa is not being married with children at the age of 35. Then you see and feel how they pity and sympathize with your situation. It doesn't end there, they'll offer you words of encouragement that you accept half-heartedly, because deep down you know full well that you have given up all hope.

As you sit alone and depressed in your now-retired parents' home, you wonder if there is still hope for you.

The answer is yes, there is hope, lots of hope, life doesn't not end when you are in your 30s, 40s, 50s or 60s; it only ends when you believe it has ended.

When deciding to change this situation, there are some thoughts to avoid and definitely vacate, like:

  1. At 35 years there is nothing one can do.
  2. You are stuck and feeling destroyed.
  3. No plan can work.
  4. You will never catch up with your peers.
  5. Too old to go to college or find a suitable partner for marriage.
  6. You have no passion for anything, basically doomed.

The idea is to stop sabotaging yourself with these self-destructive thoughts and move into a new state of deliberate self improvement.  

Regardless of your age or current circumstances. Here are a few suggestions to help you get started:

  1. Identify your strengths and interests: Take some time to reflect on what you enjoy doing and what you are good at. Articulate them in writing so as to have clarity of thought. You may have skills and talents that you are not aware of or have not developed yet.
  2. Set goals: Once you have identified your strengths and interests, set achievable goals for yourself. These goals can be related to career, education, or personal development.
  3. Consider further education or training: Although you don't currently have a degree, it's never too late to go back to school or pursue additional training. Look into government sponsored community colleges or online courses that can help you gain new skills and credentials.
  4. Network and seek out opportunities: Networking with others in your desired field can help you learn about job opportunities and gain valuable insights into the industry. Attend career fairs, industry events, and connect with professionals on social media.
  5. Don't give up: Remember that success often takes time and perseverance. Don't let setbacks discourage you from pursuing your goals. Stay focused and keep working towards your aspirations.

Taking these steps will stop things from getting worse, and the process of getting better will begin automatically. Also, at this point, potential marriage suitors are drawn to people who have gone through or are going through these steps.

Always remember that your age, relationship status, and parental status do not define your worth or potential for success. With determination and hard work, you can achieve your goals and build a fulfilling life for yourself.

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